Get Grateful

The other day I found myself absently humming a song that is probably very familiar to any child who grew up in the '80's - "Part of Your World," from Disney's The Little Mermaid. For a second, I paused to remember the lyrics, words that we repeated as kids again and again...

Looking around here you think

Sure, she's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty

I've got whozits and whatsits galore

Thingamabobs? I've got twenty!

But who cares? 

No Big Deal

I want more....

And I thought to myself, "wow, what a terrible, terrible lesson." Here she is, future-queen of the whole ocean with a cavern full of whozits and whatsits, and she is griping about how much better life would be if she could only attain the unattainable - to walk on land!

It's human nature (and apparently mermaid nature) to want more, to chase after happiness with both arms outstretched, thinking that, if only you were able to change your circumstances financially, romantically, physically... then you'd be happy. But, as Mad Men's Don Draper would remind us, "What is happiness? It's a moment before you need more happiness." 

That's a scary thought, right? When we finally do get our hands on that thing that would make us happy, our eyes will already be drifting towards the horizon, looking for the next source of happiness.

Studies have found that people who set vague goals (like "be successful," "get in shape") were actually more likely to be unhappy than those who didn't set goals at all. There's an important lesson here: by always looking ahead, we're failing to focus on what we have now. By looking at only the summit, we ignore the climb. Rather than being grateful for all that we are given every day, we're focusing on what we don't have... yet. 

As an acupuncturist, I love to help people with anxiety. Acupuncture can certainly help with insomnia, depression, stress, and worry - but a simple change of your mindset can make the feeling you get during your acupuncture treatment more enduring and profound. Switching from an "I want more" to an "I have so much" state of mind is empowering. 

I learned about Naikan therapy when I was an acupuncture student. Naikan is essentially a practice of gratitude, in which you are asked to look objectively at what you have given to others, what you have received, and where you may have caused harm or inconvenience to those around you. Its purpose is to make you aware of all the ways that you receive love and support on a daily basis, even in the smallest of ways.

I like to do a month-long Naikan practice starting right around Thanksgiving. I feel like it helps me more deeply appreciate the true intention behind the holiday, and keeps me grounded during the consumer-driven Christmas season. I hope you'll consider joining me in this practice! Rarely can an acupuncturist promise that something she suggests will change your life - but in this case I feel confident saying that gratitude is a life-changer. At the very least, it will change your attitude!

Learn how to practice Naikan.

Five Tips for Fearless Change!

Is it just me, or are all the things that are supposed to be good for us... a little scary?

Every evening I go to bed with the best intentions - tomorrow I'm going to start that Couch-to-5K training, drink eight glasses of water, deny the lure of social media (seriously, like not even check Facebook ONCE), work hard on my business, maybe even try that brand-new charting software. I am going to change my habits and improve myself. I am going to be a powerhouse!

I wake up, have my glass of water. I turn on my iPhone to check the weather (because in Minneapolis, looking outside and seeing blue sky is no indication of what will be happening in ten minutes), and the next thing I know, I'm on Facebook, where I'm instantly pulled down the rabbit-hole of "You won't believe what happens NEXT!" links and "20 Adorable Tiny Baby Animals Being Cute" lists, and pictures of my brother's friend's sister's engagement ring. And then all of a sudden it's 10:00 and all I have time for is a quick shower and a bowl of cereal and it's time to work.

It never feels good, even when you're doing it. You know the thing - maybe it's when you're eating all the carbs when you said you wouldn't eat any carbs, or when you binge-watch an entire series of a terrible reality TV show instead of going out with a new group of friends. You know what's good for you, but somehow it's so hard to leave your comfort zone behind and change your pattern.

But I know the secret, and I suspect that you do, too: the scariest things, those good-for-you things that you might even dread doing, make you feel the most AWESOME at the end of the day. Every time you leave the safety of your comfort zone behind and get to cross one of those items off your list, you get a boost of empowerment that makes you feel like the unstoppable force you are.

So why does it have to be so hard to do those things? And why does it feel so good to just sit on the couch doing exactly what you know you shouldn't be doing instead?

Here are five things I've learned that will help you make way for positive change in your own life:

1. Be gentle with yourself. Change is uncomfortable. You have to do things a different way, meaning that you might fail, you might face rejection or feel more emotionally-drained than usual. If you're gearing up to try something new, be sure that you balance it out by making some space in your schedule for whatever healthy pampering fills your cup - like massage, time with friends, or time where you have permission to just "do nothing."

2. Failure IS an option. If you're trying something new, you have to know that it's going to take a while to be good at it, or to have it become part of your regular routine rather than a dreaded chore. Plot a date with yourself after a reasonable amount of time has passed to check in and decide whether to carry on or say "forget it." Not everyone is a runner, or a writer, or whatever you've set out to be, and that's okay. Life is too short to do something you consistently hate. Sometimes just knowing that you have given yourself an out is enough to keep you going through the more difficult times.

3. Build your confidence. I underestimated the role confidence played in my own life until I realized I was turning business away because I was afraid "I wasn't good enough." That was my wake-up call to stop focusing on just building my business and start developing myself. Strengthen your confidence by routinely learning new things about your area of expertise, doing something you know you are good at, and, of course, trying new things that challenge you. It's a two-way street; nothing will help you build confidence like doing something that scares you, but you need confidence to take those challenges on.

4. Hold yourself accountable. Taking on a challenge with a partner is a super-effective way to increase the likelihood that you will stick to your guns. Find a buddy who also has a goal they are working on (it doesn't even have to be the same one), and set up a weekly phone call or coffee date to set objectives and discuss progress. It also helps you feel less alone. We are social beings and we like to be able to share our struggle and be reminded that many feelings are universal.

5. Baby steps! So often, we make the mistake of setting goals for ourselves that only focus on the end goal and deny all the tiny adjustments and actions that must occur on the way to the finish line. Charting those steps and finding ways to make progress measurable will help you track your progress along the way so you don't get discouraged. The SMART system for goal-setting is a good place to start. There are lots of books and resources that will help you flesh this out even further.

I should mention that I'm excited to be starting a new chapter myself as I move from my current space in South Minneapolis to a new spa in Uptown - Artifex Wellness Center! If you've been interested in trying something new, I encourage you to book an acupuncture appointment with me. I promise - acupuncture is NOT scary!

"Where there is life, there is hope."

“However bad life my seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. Where there is life, there is hope.” – Stephen Hawking

 A few weeks ago, social media was flooded with posts about Robin Williams’ passing, which once again brought the subject of mental illness and depression into the public forum. More than anything, it seemed that people were shocked that a man who had achieved what appeared to be the very definition of “success” could possibly have wanted to take his own life. I think – if anything – this sentiment represents one of the most common misconceptions about mental illness: successful people are somehow immune, that mental illness and success are mutually-exclusive.

I have worked with severely depressed individuals in my own practice, which has deepened my understanding about what a diagnosis of depression actually means. It's been an education for me, and I feel privileged to provide some comfort to those that are suffering. Here are a few of the things I've observed, first-hand. 

First of all, depression a spectrum; not everyone suffers the same way, or to the same degree. I myself struggled with relatively mild depression on and off since childhood, but was finally able to control it with self-care, herbal medicine, and acupuncture. Others I know require more drastic means of intervention.

Second, depression is not the same as being sad. I think our collective image of a depressed person is someone who walks around looking mopey, like Eeyore from Whinnie the Pooh, casting doom and gloom wherever they go. In my own experience, people who are the most depressed are the best at hiding it – sometimes because they don’t want to burden others around them, but also because they feel that sharing is pointless because their depression is not an issue that can be fixed. I find that this is especially true for men, who are socialized to “grin and bear it” through everything or risk being seen as "weak."

Sometimes there is no “why.” As human beings, we like to place ourselves at the center of our own universe. When someone takes their own life, the people around them often want to know what they could have done, they want to know “why?” and “how could they?” The bottom line is that depression is a disease. Just like having a good job or a perfect marriage can’t cure cancer, these things can’t always “cure” clinical depression. When I was at the height of my own depression, I would try to reason with myself and say things like, “I have such a perfect life! Why do I still feel like this?” The fact that my mood responded immediately to herbs, supplements, and dietary changes made me realize that depression was just as much a product of my body as it was in my head. I’m not saying that our circumstances don’t have a role to play in how we feel – simply that it’s often more complex than circumstances alone.

All depression is treatable. This summer, I lost two people from within my circle to suicide - one of them very recently. Although I admit I didn’t know either of them well, these losses resonated with me because we were the same age, had many of the same friends and interests, and our lives were comparable in many other ways. If I could have said anything to either of them, it would have been the quote from the beginning of this post. “Where there is life, there is hope.” I believe with every fiber of my being that even the worst depression is beatable, through a combination of counseling, lifestyle changes, dietary therapy, alternative therapies like acupuncture (but of course not limited to acupuncture alone), and – in many cases – medication. Getting help for the depression is often the scariest part, because it forces us to admit that our lives have gotten to a point where we are no longer in control. It must be hard to believe that change is possible, or to summon the energy to try. Depression is a day-by-day thing that must be conquered, day by day. However, it's a journey that starts with a single step, and that step usually involves reaching out and getting help.

I should mention that I've been struggling to write this entry for over a week now. I hope it didn't come across as trite or obvious. Also, one of my favorite writings on depression actually comes from a humor blog, Hyperbole and a Half. It's so full of insight, wrapped in wacky and unique humor.

Finally, if you know someone (or are someone) who is coping with depression, I highly recommend the book "The Chemistry of Joy," by Henry Emmons. It has become the cornerstone of my approach for helping advise others regarding their own depression, and it's full of great tactics for those wanting to try an integrative approach to taking control of their mental wellness. 

5 Things My 90 Year-Old Grandmother Taught Me About Wellness

My Grandmother ("Mormor") turned 90 in March. We had a big party for her, and in her closing speech, she told us all to save the date for her 100th birthday party. She is an incredible person. I've learned a lot about living well from observing her over the years, but here are my top five.

Never slow down.
As I write this, Mormor is up at her cabin in Northern Minnesota, which is on 5 acres that she maintains herself. Okay, she doesn't do the mowing or heavy repairs, but she does pull weeds, pick up fallen branches, dig holes, and haul around the hose to water her garden. She just traveled to Sweden a few weeks ago. She doesn't let fear dictate how she spends her day. She is a busy-body, and that innate sense of purpose has served her well. She can't stand seeing people sit around.

Stay positive. My mom went skydiving on her 60th birthday, and one of the instructors offered to take Mormor up to dive with her. Mormor laughed and responded, "If you bring me up that close to heaven, you might as well keep going." The fact is, when you've lived 90 years, death becomes a part of life. Many of the people Mormor has loved have moved on (including my Morfar, her husband of over 70 years), but she accepts it as a fact of life. She seems genuinely happy for the opportunity to wake up and experience another day. I have never heard her say that she wishes the past was different, or that she is sad she has gotten old.

Eat your vegetables. From mashed potatoes to coffee cake, Mormor's meals are Swedish through-and-through, and I don't think she has never met a carb she didn't like. Coffee is served with cream (and usually some kind of dessert), wine is served with dinner (and sometimes with lunch), and it's pretty much a guarantee that there are cookies stashed somewhere in the house at all times. But there is some kind of veggie or fruit on the table at every meal, and she will not stop giving you grief until you eat an adequate amount. All of us kids can remember her insisting "It's good FOR you!" usually while shoveling more asparagus onto our plate.

Life begins and ends with the people you love. At Mormor's birthday I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of people I met. Members of her bridge club, friends from the Swedish Immigrant club, people from her Church... together with her family, it was a full house. The older we get, the easier it is to become wrapped up in our own lives, she has told me that "life is about people" and I agree. It keeps me motivated to put myself out there and say "yes" to strengthening the friendships I am blessed with, even when I feel like I'd rather just relax and watch an entire season of "Game of Thrones" instead.

Don't let obsessing about your health get in the way of celebrating life. As a wellness worker, sometimes I get downright obsessive about my health - to the point that it's unhealthy. Which supplements should I be taking? Did I get enough exercise today? Oh man, I should meditate more. Is that organic? Is my tongue pale? ...These are the thoughts that run through my mind on any given day. Mormor takes two pills a day, whereas I usually take five. She only recently started drinking water, after we told her that coffee and wine don't count. And her meditation involves pulling weeds or watching the weather channel for hours on end.

The bottom line is, there are things we can control about our health to stack the odds in our favor, but a lot of it is pure luck. Occasionally you might want to take a long bike ride and drink a green smoothie. But sometimes it's okay to stay up late and eat a slice of flourless chocolate cake in your pajamas, or order the charcuterie platter and split a glass of wine as you catch up with a dear friend. Being healthy is a blessing; being alive is a thing worth celebrating.

Mormor and I at my niece Karley's 9th Birthday Party a few weeks ago.

Full-Circle, or "This is what a healer looks like."

Since I became licensed, I've tried many "grow-your-business-by-blogging" strategies, all of which fell flat after just a handful of posts. I've learned that something as time-consuming as blogging is ultimately the easiest thing to put off if you don't enjoy doing it. So I've opted to return to a more personal approach, the original reason people created blogs - a true web log. I do love to write, and maybe you - a potential client, a close friend, a random, curious person from across the world - will enjoy reading about my observations and experiences, and that has some value - even if these posts of mine won't necessarily generate any revenue.

2014 has been a strange year. I've learned a lot about running a business and what it truly means to be a healer. I've learned that some of the oldest advice I ever received - "just be yourself" - is also some of the most important advice one could ever heed. I've accepted that I am not your conventional acupuncturist, if there is such a thing; I'm definitely not your conventional medical worker. I love science and studies and "proof," but the more I trust my intuition, the better results I seem to get. I'm starting to get comfortable with my witch-y side, truly letting myself believe that these needles, these herbs, the vibration of a tuning fork, the touch of a hand, can transform a person's experience at the deepest level. I have witnessed small miracles: a sore shoulder moving without pain, an insomniac sleeping through the night, anxiety transformed to joy... and these things keep me energized for the hard work ahead.

I own a home now. I'm married and I have a garden. I am a business owner. But there are days where I'm still compelled to be completely irresponsible, or months where I don't have enough money to buy something that I am totally convinced I need (until I realize I can't afford it, and the need sort of dissipates). I have decided that these experiences are OK - they are part of my journey. Healers aren't perfect. My image of a healer has changed so much in the last year. Back when I was in school, I used to imagine myself walking the halls of some hospital, wearing a lab coat over my business-casual attire, feeling important and respectable as I worked to single-handedly elevate the practice of acupuncture into acceptance by the medical establishment. Then I began to idealize the wise women of yesterday, pulling herbs from the soil with strong hands, lending a gentle touch to soothe a headache, always ready with the right remedy. Now I know I lie somewhere between. I am a healer right where I am. In the morning, putting on makeup in my bathroom mirror, I say to myself: this is what a healer looks like.

Healers can have weird haircuts if they darn well please.

I am a healer when I'm singing on stage, drinking at a bar, or riding bikes with my friends. I am still a healer when I'm sick myself, nursing the cold that's been going around, trying to heed the same advice I'd give my patients. It's not something that goes away when I leave the clinic. It's a part of me, and I don't have to embody any kind of stereotype to better serve my patients or attract my ideal client.

So that's it - that's my declaration. I always feel vaguely guilty when I write an entire blog post about myself. But as I return to the world of the Web Log I feel compelled to set the record straight. And for all those wellness workers, coaches, therapists, bodyworkers out there who still feel like impostors (and face it, we all do sometimes) - look at yourself and say, "THIS is what a healer looks like."