My Grandmother ("Mormor") turned 90 in March. We had a big party for her, and in her closing speech, she told us all to save the date for her 100th birthday party. She is an incredible person. I've learned a lot about living well from observing her over the years, but here are my top five.Never slow down.
As I write this, Mormor is up at her cabin in Northern Minnesota, which is on 5 acres that she maintains herself. Okay, she doesn't do the mowing or heavy repairs, but she does pull weeds, pick up fallen branches, dig holes, and haul around the hose to water her garden. She just traveled to Sweden a few weeks ago. She doesn't let fear dictate how she spends her day. She is a busy-body, and that innate sense of purpose has served her well. She can't stand seeing people sit around.
Stay positive. My mom went skydiving on her 60th birthday, and one of the instructors offered to take Mormor up to dive with her. Mormor laughed and responded, "If you bring me up that close to heaven, you might as well keep going." The fact is, when you've lived 90 years, death becomes a part of life. Many of the people Mormor has loved have moved on (including my Morfar, her husband of over 70 years), but she accepts it as a fact of life. She seems genuinely happy for the opportunity to wake up and experience another day. I have never heard her say that she wishes the past was different, or that she is sad she has gotten old.
Eat your vegetables. From mashed potatoes to coffee cake, Mormor's meals are Swedish through-and-through, and I don't think she has never met a carb she didn't like. Coffee is served with cream (and usually some kind of dessert), wine is served with dinner (and sometimes with lunch), and it's pretty much a guarantee that there are cookies stashed somewhere in the house at all times. But there is some kind of veggie or fruit on the table at every meal, and she will not stop giving you grief until you eat an adequate amount. All of us kids can remember her insisting "It's good FOR you!" usually while shoveling more asparagus onto our plate.
Life begins and ends with the people you love. At Mormor's birthday I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of people I met. Members of her bridge club, friends from the Swedish Immigrant club, people from her Church... together with her family, it was a full house. The older we get, the easier it is to become wrapped up in our own lives, she has told me that "life is about people" and I agree. It keeps me motivated to put myself out there and say "yes" to strengthening the friendships I am blessed with, even when I feel like I'd rather just relax and watch an entire season of "Game of Thrones" instead.
Don't let obsessing about your health get in the way of celebrating life. As a wellness worker, sometimes I get downright obsessive about my health - to the point that it's unhealthy. Which supplements should I be taking? Did I get enough exercise today? Oh man, I should meditate more. Is that organic? Is my tongue pale? ...These are the thoughts that run through my mind on any given day. Mormor takes two pills a day, whereas I usually take five. She only recently started drinking water, after we told her that coffee and wine don't count. And her meditation involves pulling weeds or watching the weather channel for hours on end.
The bottom line is, there are things we can control about our health to stack the odds in our favor, but a lot of it is pure luck. Occasionally you might want to take a long bike ride and drink a green smoothie. But sometimes it's okay to stay up late and eat a slice of flourless chocolate cake in your pajamas, or order the charcuterie platter and split a glass of wine as you catch up with a dear friend. Being healthy is a blessing; being alive is a thing worth celebrating.
Mormor and I at my niece Karley's 9th Birthday Party a few weeks ago.
