Is it just me, or are all the things that are supposed to be good for us... a little scary?
Every evening I go to bed with the best intentions - tomorrow I'm going to start that Couch-to-5K training, drink eight glasses of water, deny the lure of social media (seriously, like not even check Facebook ONCE), work hard on my business, maybe even try that brand-new charting software. I am going to change my habits and improve myself. I am going to be a powerhouse!
I wake up, have my glass of water. I turn on my iPhone to check the weather (because in Minneapolis, looking outside and seeing blue sky is no indication of what will be happening in ten minutes), and the next thing I know, I'm on Facebook, where I'm instantly pulled down the rabbit-hole of "You won't believe what happens NEXT!" links and "20 Adorable Tiny Baby Animals Being Cute" lists, and pictures of my brother's friend's sister's engagement ring. And then all of a sudden it's 10:00 and all I have time for is a quick shower and a bowl of cereal and it's time to work.
It never feels good, even when you're doing it. You know the thing - maybe it's when you're eating all the carbs when you said you wouldn't eat any carbs, or when you binge-watch an entire series of a terrible reality TV show instead of going out with a new group of friends. You know what's good for you, but somehow it's so hard to leave your comfort zone behind and change your pattern.
But I know the secret, and I suspect that you do, too: the scariest things, those good-for-you things that you might even dread doing, make you feel the most AWESOME at the end of the day. Every time you leave the safety of your comfort zone behind and get to cross one of those items off your list, you get a boost of empowerment that makes you feel like the unstoppable force you are.
So why does it have to be so hard to do those things? And why does it feel so good to just sit on the couch doing exactly what you know you shouldn't be doing instead?
Here are five things I've learned that will help you make way for positive change in your own life:
1. Be gentle with yourself. Change is uncomfortable. You have to do things a different way, meaning that you might fail, you might face rejection or feel more emotionally-drained than usual. If you're gearing up to try something new, be sure that you balance it out by making some space in your schedule for whatever healthy pampering fills your cup - like massage, time with friends, or time where you have permission to just "do nothing."
2. Failure IS an option. If you're trying something new, you have to know that it's going to take a while to be good at it, or to have it become part of your regular routine rather than a dreaded chore. Plot a date with yourself after a reasonable amount of time has passed to check in and decide whether to carry on or say "forget it." Not everyone is a runner, or a writer, or whatever you've set out to be, and that's okay. Life is too short to do something you consistently hate. Sometimes just knowing that you have given yourself an out is enough to keep you going through the more difficult times.
3. Build your confidence. I underestimated the role confidence played in my own life until I realized I was turning business away because I was afraid "I wasn't good enough." That was my wake-up call to stop focusing on just building my business and start developing myself. Strengthen your confidence by routinely learning new things about your area of expertise, doing something you know you are good at, and, of course, trying new things that challenge you. It's a two-way street; nothing will help you build confidence like doing something that scares you, but you need confidence to take those challenges on.
4. Hold yourself accountable. Taking on a challenge with a partner is a super-effective way to increase the likelihood that you will stick to your guns. Find a buddy who also has a goal they are working on (it doesn't even have to be the same one), and set up a weekly phone call or coffee date to set objectives and discuss progress. It also helps you feel less alone. We are social beings and we like to be able to share our struggle and be reminded that many feelings are universal.
5. Baby steps! So often, we make the mistake of setting goals for ourselves that only focus on the end goal and deny all the tiny adjustments and actions that must occur on the way to the finish line. Charting those steps and finding ways to make progress measurable will help you track your progress along the way so you don't get discouraged. The SMART system for goal-setting is a good place to start. There are lots of books and resources that will help you flesh this out even further.
I should mention that I'm excited to be starting a new chapter myself as I move from my current space in South Minneapolis to a new spa in Uptown - Artifex Wellness Center! If you've been interested in trying something new, I encourage you to book an acupuncture appointment with me. I promise - acupuncture is NOT scary!
Every evening I go to bed with the best intentions - tomorrow I'm going to start that Couch-to-5K training, drink eight glasses of water, deny the lure of social media (seriously, like not even check Facebook ONCE), work hard on my business, maybe even try that brand-new charting software. I am going to change my habits and improve myself. I am going to be a powerhouse!
I wake up, have my glass of water. I turn on my iPhone to check the weather (because in Minneapolis, looking outside and seeing blue sky is no indication of what will be happening in ten minutes), and the next thing I know, I'm on Facebook, where I'm instantly pulled down the rabbit-hole of "You won't believe what happens NEXT!" links and "20 Adorable Tiny Baby Animals Being Cute" lists, and pictures of my brother's friend's sister's engagement ring. And then all of a sudden it's 10:00 and all I have time for is a quick shower and a bowl of cereal and it's time to work.
It never feels good, even when you're doing it. You know the thing - maybe it's when you're eating all the carbs when you said you wouldn't eat any carbs, or when you binge-watch an entire series of a terrible reality TV show instead of going out with a new group of friends. You know what's good for you, but somehow it's so hard to leave your comfort zone behind and change your pattern.
But I know the secret, and I suspect that you do, too: the scariest things, those good-for-you things that you might even dread doing, make you feel the most AWESOME at the end of the day. Every time you leave the safety of your comfort zone behind and get to cross one of those items off your list, you get a boost of empowerment that makes you feel like the unstoppable force you are.
So why does it have to be so hard to do those things? And why does it feel so good to just sit on the couch doing exactly what you know you shouldn't be doing instead?
Here are five things I've learned that will help you make way for positive change in your own life:
1. Be gentle with yourself. Change is uncomfortable. You have to do things a different way, meaning that you might fail, you might face rejection or feel more emotionally-drained than usual. If you're gearing up to try something new, be sure that you balance it out by making some space in your schedule for whatever healthy pampering fills your cup - like massage, time with friends, or time where you have permission to just "do nothing."
2. Failure IS an option. If you're trying something new, you have to know that it's going to take a while to be good at it, or to have it become part of your regular routine rather than a dreaded chore. Plot a date with yourself after a reasonable amount of time has passed to check in and decide whether to carry on or say "forget it." Not everyone is a runner, or a writer, or whatever you've set out to be, and that's okay. Life is too short to do something you consistently hate. Sometimes just knowing that you have given yourself an out is enough to keep you going through the more difficult times.
3. Build your confidence. I underestimated the role confidence played in my own life until I realized I was turning business away because I was afraid "I wasn't good enough." That was my wake-up call to stop focusing on just building my business and start developing myself. Strengthen your confidence by routinely learning new things about your area of expertise, doing something you know you are good at, and, of course, trying new things that challenge you. It's a two-way street; nothing will help you build confidence like doing something that scares you, but you need confidence to take those challenges on.
4. Hold yourself accountable. Taking on a challenge with a partner is a super-effective way to increase the likelihood that you will stick to your guns. Find a buddy who also has a goal they are working on (it doesn't even have to be the same one), and set up a weekly phone call or coffee date to set objectives and discuss progress. It also helps you feel less alone. We are social beings and we like to be able to share our struggle and be reminded that many feelings are universal.
5. Baby steps! So often, we make the mistake of setting goals for ourselves that only focus on the end goal and deny all the tiny adjustments and actions that must occur on the way to the finish line. Charting those steps and finding ways to make progress measurable will help you track your progress along the way so you don't get discouraged. The SMART system for goal-setting is a good place to start. There are lots of books and resources that will help you flesh this out even further.
I should mention that I'm excited to be starting a new chapter myself as I move from my current space in South Minneapolis to a new spa in Uptown - Artifex Wellness Center! If you've been interested in trying something new, I encourage you to book an acupuncture appointment with me. I promise - acupuncture is NOT scary!
